


questioning beliefs

by theladyrose



Series: sine qua non [2]
Category: Dragon Age
Genre: Bromance, Card Games, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Humor, Introspection, Missing Scene, POV Alternating, friendfic, liminality
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-11-01
Updated: 2011-11-01
Packaged: 2017-10-25 14:37:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/271383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theladyrose/pseuds/theladyrose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"We are as many people as the size of our acquaintance." Think of this narrative as a side quest to Varric's tale of the champion, largely based on references to party banter and other slices of life filling in the Fenris/Hawke romance.</p>
            </blockquote>





	questioning beliefs

**Author's Note:**

> While these are nonlinear vignettes based on what we see in DA2, most events are based on what's mentioned/implied in companion party banter and codex entries.

It wasn't Hawke's fault that they had been forbidden to enter the  Hanged Man for two weeks since Isabela (rightfully) started that bar  fight with that terrible leering poet. Much to everyone's surprise,  Fenris had volunteered his mansion to host Diamondback - now that  Isabela wasn't enforcing strip Wicked Grace rules, the gang was up for a  different game for which Varric had a diminished likelihood of cleaning  everyone's pockets. Aveline wasn't there join, keeping an eye on  Isabela in her temporary resident in the guards' holding cells; it was  all for the best, given the guard captain's tendency to take out fist  sized chunks of the table.

 

 

They trickled in one by one,  though Hawke had dropped by earlier to help Fenris find seats and a big  enough surface upon which they could spread out cards and drinks.  Donnic and Sebastian were the second to arrive with bread and cheese in  tow to complement the seemingly endless bottles of Aggregio that emerged  from Fenris's basement. Sebastian went over to join and catch up with  Fenris by the foot of the staircase, while Donnic helped Hawke set up  the mismatched chairs that she had just finished bringing over with  Fenris's help.   


  


  


"Serah Hawke, I can't thank you enough  for your assistance. I am a lucky man to know both you and Aveline."  Donnic glanced over at Sebastian and Fenris. "I apologize for any  awkwardness back at the Hanged Man - I should've known that you were  already with your friend there," he said, pointing at the two men.   


Hawke  quirked an eyebrow. "Which one? Both of them are so delectable - I keep  them around just for the eye candy, distracting our foes as I stab a  dagger into their backs. Our foes, I mean - not those fine specimens of manliness."

 

 

Donnic grinned; Hawke could  see what Aveline found so attractive in the guardsman. "I'm not sure how the prince  could defend his vows from your womanly wiles, though the elf has  already fallen pretty hard."   


 

Hawke shrugged. "Sebastian has the light of the Maker to illuminate flaws of potential romantic interests; how could any woman compete with a looker like  Andraste? As for Fenris, he toppled over from blood loss just yesterday." Fenris really needed to learn that Hawke could  fend for herself when knee deep in Tal-Vashoth - that was why miasmic  flasks were invented. It wasn't like him to be distracted, but a spear lodged in one's gut had that tendency to trigger protective survival  instincts. Anders had to use two lyrium potions to heal him afterward and almost passed out from mana drain. 

 

Donnic gave her a look. "I could be wrong, but Fenris doesn't seem the type to be knocked over by just anyone."   


 

"Unless  you're facing an Qunari with a greatsword longer than you." She glanced at the meager provisions on the table in front of them. "Let's go back to my home to bring over some plates  and knifes for the bread and cheese. I'd hate to scrape dried raider blood from my blades on that delectable Orlesian brie.  If Fenris bothers to lock the door behind us, I can test the new lockpicking set I got in Lowtown."

 

"I'll pretend I didn't hear that, Hawke. Maker, I sound just like Aveline. Let's grab those utensils before I think about reporting this to her."    
Laughing, the two waved at their friends and left.

 

Meanwhile on the other side of the room, Sebastian held out glasses for Fenris to  pour. Between the priest, Varric, and their host, they'd be polishing off two  bottles at minimum. "It is heartwarming to hear that Aveline and Donnic come  to their senses; the guard will benefit from a unified match who temper each other so well. It is incredible, what our friends see that we do not from our limited perspectives. "

 

Fenris  momentarily paused before pouring again. His wounds didn't hurt as much as he anticipated, but they weren't fully healed. "I am lucky to count  you among my friends, Sebastian.  Being in a place where no one knows who I am is the closest I've been to freedom. I came here to find Danarius, but there's more here than I bargained for."   


 

Or someone worth fighting for, the priest thought. If Sebastian learned anything from Elthina, it was that he could best help who confided in him by guiding them to the truths they hid from themselves.  "Kirkwall may not be Starkhaven, but it's the people we know who make it worthwhile. Just look at Hawke - she has quite the following among apostates,  the nobility, the templars, even the weaponsmiths from the Gallows to  Hightown."   


 

"She and her mother does look after us as if we were of her own blood. Come to think of it, could you take some of the extra stew lady Leandra brought over the other day to the Chantry?  When I've been with Hawke in the market, she spends more money on pendants and blades for our party than on flowers to  Bethany in the Gallows." Fenris frequently found himself accompanying Hawke to pick up Andraste's grace and embrium from the flower stand not far from his abode, though he never joined Hawke on her visits. It felt too...personal. 

 

"Bethany is fortunate to have such a dedicated sister."  Aside from Elthina and his grandfather, Sebastian couldn't remember the last time anyone would drop by just to say hello, let alone have faith that he could make his own decisions.  He saw far too many men during confession who had been adrift as he had been before the Chantry.  He hoped to steer Fenris from that path, knowing how loneliness crippled hope more than the worst injury.  "I see you've been spending quite a lot of time with her lately - I haven't seen her for an entire week.  Hawke's told me about how much she appreciates your help and how indispensable you've become to her."

 

Anders, Merrill, and Varric burst in at that moment before Fenris's cheeks could betray the slightest blush, though Sebastian couldn't help but notice his friend's shy, embarrassed smile.  Varric staggered towards, them, waving around a bottle of Sun Blond Vint bigger than his head. He bellowed,  "Who's ready to contribute to the Corff bribery fund?  He won't let me back into my rooms until they've finished replacing the bar. It wasn't my fault that Merrill drank enough to light her breath and surroundings on fire!"  

 

Merrill ducked behind the dwarf in embarrassment, stage whispering, "He's been like this since Lowtown."  Anders shook his head in resignation; he was too drained to attempt a preventative hangover cure.  Thankfully, Hawke and Donnic arrived with cutlery in tow.  "Now Varric, if it wasn't for your sleight of hand, you'd never have enough to bribe Edwina to remember your order, let alone pay off your bar tab!"

 

Varric swung the bottle onto the table with a thud; somehow it slid just to the edge without falling off. From the smell, he had extensively tested the vintage to ensure that it hadn't soured into vinegar like the last bottle he had swiped from Bartrand's abandoned stash at the Merchant's Guild.    
Anders tossed a well-worn deck of cards next to the bottle.  After treating injured Bone Pit miners for several days straight, he was ready for hale and hearty company.  "How many drinks will you be plying to make up for the coin I'm about to lose?" asked the healer.

 

"Blondie, watching you try to bluff is entertainment enough and fodder for my next apostate warden serial.  No, it's Broody and Choir Boy I'm afraid of; Broody's perpetually angsting about his next move, and Choir Boy has the same shit faced smile for each hand like Andraste's naked tits are blown up on every card. My bet's on Donnic - beginner's luck, and anyone courting Aveline has to be sharp."   


 

"I feel welcome already. Though Varric, you better watch out - aren't the guards in Hard in Hightown always confiscating the illegal proceeds of backroom gambling?"

  


  


Hawke sighed theatrically.  "Boys, let's play nice. Varric's known to hold grudges when he loses. Varric, if you mess with Donnic, you face Aveline's wrath, too."

  


 

Even in friendly competition, Fenris thought, Hawke played peacemaker.  She hadn't been the eldest sibling for nothing.   


 

Varric's grin turned slightly feral. "Never fear, guardsman -I've never placed any assassination contracts with the Coterie. As for the Carta, I can neither confirm nor deny..." 

 

The crew sat down while Anders insisted on cutting the deck and dealing, declaring that he wanted to even out his odds of losing.  Given Hawke's  unfamiliarity with the game, Sebastian offered to partner with her for the first few rounds. Varric's acquiescence was magnanimous enough while intoxicated - it was mostly for show as the ladies (well, Merrill and Aveline) fell for the act every time and made riskier bets.       


  


Sebastian noted that Fenris, on the other hand, grasped his cards more tightly when he leaned over to see Hawke's cards and whisper recommendations in her ear.  Fenris's gauntlet nearly poked holes through the cards, though the elf seemed too distracted to notice what was in his hand. 

 

Hawke, Fenris observed, had surprisingly petite hands for a former farmgirl who could assassinate an enemy in ten seconds.  Strange how he never timed Isabela's kills or anyone else's.  It was in his interest to know how to complement his leader, one who looked to him to devise battle tactics and coordinate the party's actions. It was the first time anyone had trusted him enough to be responsible for a party's welfare, instead of acting as a lone wolf.  Hawke and Aveline had fought in the battle where the king of Ferelden was abandoned to his death, but they hadn't the same experience in using whoever was available to protect one man at all costs.

 

Varric waved his hand, muttering, "Broody, did you just finish a mental tour of the Blooming Rose? Some of us have cards we want to play! At this rate Anders will finish the rest of the cheese because he eats like a starving nug when he has a lousy hand." 

 

Anders scowled, though not for the same reasons as Fenris had unconsciously been.  "I was wondering what you'd look like if your chest hair was on your face instead. Without that extra layer of armor, you'd practically be walking naked into battle." Fenris hastily put down his cards and hoped that he had an actual hand.

 

Varric turned over the elf's cards, then his own. Gleefully the dwarf took a swig of the murky substance in his glass and scooped up the cards with his other hand. "Words are cheap, elf. Now here's my payback for losing my smalls to Isabela before you did last week."   


 

Anders quirked an eyebrow.  "That's a first. I'm almost jealous, Varric, though the view was unregrettable from where I was sitting."   


  


"Not another word, Blondie - you know how Bianca can be twitchy about peeping mages."

 

"How is Bianca twitchy? I've never seen anything made of wood become alive, unless it's a sylvan. But Bianca's not a sylvan, is she? Has she been spitting poison arrows at revenants and arcane horrors this entire time and I've never noticed?" Merrill asked.   


 

"Actually, Daisy, she's descended from a lost artifact of Arlathan, as reincarnated by dwarven hands."

 

Merrill jumped up in excitement, dropping her hand. Varric smirked at the unintended result - mages wore their hearts on their sleeves, making them ideal to play across. Hawke's mabari, to his idle surprise, showed more subtlety. Fellow rogues and broody elves, on the other hand, brought a worthwhile challenge to the table. Uncharacteristically, Fenris seemed more distracted than usual by Choirboy's fawning over Hakwe, though it was obvious to Varric that no one with Andraste over his crotch wanted to get laid.    


  


Hawke was oblivious to her companion's antics; like all rogues, she treated these games as seriously as she did combat in pinpointing others' weaknesses.  She had picked up  Anders and Merrill's tells  pretty quickly thanks to Sebastian's sharp eye. With his help, Hawke bluffed her way past Donnic to a best of three. Much to everyone's surprise,    
Donnic eliminated Varric (who played the gracious loser to encourage the guardsman to keep playing with them) but lost to Fenris. Sooner than they knew it, Hawke and Fenris faced each other in the final round.   


 

Hawke glanced at Sebastian conspiratorially, sensing that it was time to go all in.  Fenris had been playing unevenly throughout the evening, if a touch more aggressively as if he had a score to settle with some imaginary player, probably Isabela. "I think you've got the hang of it, Hawke - time to show them what you've got," Sebastian responded, sotto voce.  

 

"I call your bluff.  Three griffons!" Her gestures were slightly shakier from the wine but no less swift as Hawke flipped over her cards.

 

"Four dragons." Sebastian patted her arm sympathetically, but it was gratifying to see both of them winning what they wanted. It was impossible for Hawke to not match Fenris's grin, an observation that was not lost on the rest of their friends   
. "In the interest of fairness, I'll let you pick the prize."   


 

Hawke  pulled a veridium band out of her tunic pocket and tossed it to Fenris. "I'm afraid I don't have any money on me at the moment, with being jumped every time I step outside." She paused, hoping that it wouldn't seem too extravagant given Fenris's ascetic tastes. "I've  been meaning to give this to you. Just because it was  pawned off a burnt raider corpse doesn't mean it's not valuable."   


  


Fenris  turned the ring over in his hand several times, admiring how the  light glinted off the enchanted stones. "I think you're getting it backwards - I thought this kind of ring given at the end of courtship in anticipation of -"   


 

Suddenly, Hawke would've preferred running through Vigil's Keep naked  than looking Fenris in the eye. Sebastian was the first to start  laughing. Fenris gave him a quizzical look before everyone else cracked up, too. Unfortunately for Hawke, there was no cover she could  hide behind save for the mold growing into an impressive colony by her  left foot.

 

Merrill stopped laughing long enough to give Fenris and Hawke an appraising eye.  "Is this the sexual tension Isabela's friendfiction refers to?  Neither of them are grimacing or looking tense. Does it count if neither of them is naked?"

 

Hawke and Fenris spluttered on their respective glasses of wine. If Hawke didn't know any better, she'd swear that Merrill put on the naïve act to get the same reactions as Isabela. Thankfully no one would notice two new carpet stains.

 

Managing a straight face, Donnic said, "If you don't want the ring, Fenris, I may find a use for it in the near future."

  
  


"Smooth, guardsman. I'm going to have to come up with a nickname for you - maybe Ace. Sharper than appearances would suggest and good to have in your pocket when everything goes to shit."   


 

It wasn't clear if Hawke was appreciative for the save or frustrated that Donnic had unintentionally interfered with her plans. "The band and the stones enchanted, boosting your abilities and providing various defensive bonuses."  She smiled weakly before continuing. "And it's better for our foes to be distracted by the shiny rather than by your face."

 

"For something you looted yesterday, you're quite the expert." Fenris didn't need to know that she bought it from the Black Emporium for more gold than he had ever possessed, that she valued his safety for his own sake and not in his utility as a    
~~  
slave   
~~   
warrior.

  
  


Merrill's eyes flickered between Fenris and Hawke as if she was watching two halla butt heads. Anders cleared his throat.  Varric and Sebastian, in agreement for once, attempted to not to smirk.

 

"Thank you, Hawke."   


 

Sometimes, Hawke thought, I feel like I win when I lose.  


**Author's Note:**

> In bocca al lupo: in Italian, literally translates as "in the mouth of the wolf" and means "break a leg/good luck." The ring that's described, the Black Star, can be bought in the Emporium in Act 1, though its appearance is fictionalized.
> 
> Yes, I quoted Abba's "Waterloo" at the end. Couldn't help it.
> 
> This piece was inspired by an interview where Gideon Emery mentions that one of the reasons why he liked voicing Fenris was because he's a closet romantic but has trouble showing his feelings (www.fanmail.biz/mboard/viewtopic.php?t=217362).


End file.
